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Reciprocal
Relationships Colossians
The
second most maddening thing about this passage is that it crosses an arbitrary
chapter/verse line. Whoever put the
chapters and verses into this should have had his head examined (or at least his
fingers). Here’s the more logical
grouping: The Holy Bible, New International Version 18Wives, submit to
your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19Husbands, love
your wives and do not be harsh with them. 20Children, obey
your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21Fathers, do not
embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. 22Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism. 1Masters,
provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also
have a Master in heaven. As
you can see, there are three relationships described here in brief – three
relationships that are with us today, if you can transmute slave/master into
employee/employer. Husband and Wife The
nub of the matter for the modern Christian is this:
women believe submission is wrong; men
believe that it is not necessary. In
the ferocious pride of woman’s liberation, we declared that marriage is
slavery, so we recreated it in our own image.
The results are plain to see: modern,
liberated marriage fails far more often than “traditional” marriage.
But at least no one is “in submission” to anyone else, right? Ignoring,
for the moment, the pride in that last sentence, we may state that it is not
true. You think not?
Consider this situation: you
are driving on a main thoroughfare. Some
guy in a big red truck comes up behind you and begins flashing his lights and
blowing his horn, obviously wanting you to get our of his way.
You’re not going to tolerate that, are you?
Hey, traffic’s bad enough without this idiot, right? You
mean you don’t pull over for a fire truck? “Oh,
wait a minute, …” Yeah, right.
You are in submission to fire trucks.
Why? The life they save might
be yours, the next time. Perhaps
it’s time we looked at this word “submission” and see what is really meant
here. Submission The
phrase in the Greek comes from two words linked together.
The first you might recognize: hypo.
A hypodermic is hypo (under) the skin, or derma.
The next word means “to arrange in an orderly fashion.”
So submission in the sense we have it here means that the wife must
arrange herself in an orderly fashion under her husband. A
side note: maybe you haven’t
noticed, but this also puts the children in their proper position – and makes
discipline in the household much easier. “As is fitting” The
word “fitting” is sometimes translated “proper.”
So we see:
That
last deserves some amplification. This
is a letter to mature Christians with an active faith.
They would understand that marriage is the picture God gives us of the
church – and therefore is holy, and to be done in God’s way. The husband:
love The
word used here for love is the familiar “agape.”
It’s not that the Greek doesn’t know the word “eros” (from which
we get “erotic”); it’s just
that the husband’s responsibility is greater than that.
How
great? He is to model his conduct on
Christ himself, for he plays the part of Christ in the drama that is marriage.
He
is given one simple command: don’t
be harsh with her. In the original
it can be seen as “do not embitter”. Do
you see that the husband, being responsible, is responsible for being sure that
his wife does not grow bitter? Most
of you husbands at this point are saying, “this is not going to work.”
Have you ever tried it? Hear
some words from an old, old preacher: Do you want your wife to be obedient to you, as the
Church is to Christ? Then be
responsible for the same providential care for her, as Christ is for the Church.
And even if it becomes necessary for you to give your life for her, yes,
and even to endure and undergo suffering of any kind, do not refuse.
Even though you undergo all this, you will never have done anything equal
to what Christ has done. You are
sacrificing yourself for someone to whom you are already joined, but He offered
Himself up for one who turned her back on Him and hated Him.
In the same way, then, as He honored her by putting at His feet one who
turned her back on Him, who hated, rejected and disdained Him, as he
accomplished this not with threats, or violence, or terror, or anything else
like that, but through his untiring love; so also you should behave toward your
wife. Even if you see her belittling
you, or despising and mocking you, still you will be able to subject her to
yourself, through affection, kindness and your great regard for her.
There is no influence more powerful than the bond of love, especially for
husband and wife. A servant can be
taught submission through fear; but even he, if provoked too much, will soon
seek his escape. But one's partner
for life, the mother of one's children, the source of one's every joy, should
never be fettered with fear and threats, but with love and patience.
What kind of marriage can there be when the wife is afraid of her
husband? What sort of satisfaction
could a husband himself have, if he lives with his wife as if she were a slave,
and not a woman by her own free will? Suffer
anything for her sake, but never disgrace her, for Christ never did this with
the Church. (The
quote is from Chrysostom, bishop of The Reciprocal of Submission is Love God,
in establishing the marriage relationship, did so to accomplish his purposes.
Parents and Children Children are to obey The
word for “obey” is not the same one as “submit” – but it has something
similar. The prefix “hypo” is
still there; the second half is
related to the verb, “to hear.” How
I wish the translators had found a way to include that thought!
Children are to listen and obey. This,
of course, any parent could tell you. What may be news to all is this:
it pleases the Lord. He will
reward the children for their obedience. This
is a point often missed. The Father is responsible As
is always the case, obedience produces a corresponding responsibility.
Fathers have the power to frustrate and embitter their children.
All it takes is the frequent repetition of “You never could do anything
right!” But Christ teaches us that
we are not to do that. Indeed, even
the least of fathers should recognize his responsibility to his children: 11“Which
of you fathers, if your son asks for£
a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12Or
if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?
Luke 11:11-12 If
a father is the source both of fairness and forgiveness, he does well.
But there is something I would add. The reciprocal of obedience is
encouragement We
said it very often to ourselves and our children:
“We are not raising chickens for Colonel Sanders.®
We are raising Eagles to fly.” One
does not learn to fly without learning the rules of flight.
But there is something else. Do
you remember Dumbo®? If you do, you
might recall “the magic feather.” A
father should be a source of encouragement for his children. Masters and Slaves We
need to do a little “translating” here – slaves and slavery having left
our part of the world some time ago (and good riddance).
But we need to look at these passages with the eye that employee and
employer have a similar relationship. Slaves – wage and otherwise. Paul
puts it quite simply: the slave has
a burden.
Which
sounds a bit harsh. But Paul
explains it: you are not just
working for your master, but for your Master.
If you are working for Christ, then he will see to your reward.
He is very loving and generous. But
– should you so choose – you might prefer to justify yourself by saying,
“I’m a Christian, he’s not – why should I serve him wholeheartedly?”
Did you really think your Lord will play favorites?
Work as if to convince him that Christians are the kind of workers he
wants; stand high in his favor.
Who knows? You may be the one
whose life brings another soul home to God. Masters have a Master, too. The
test seems simple enough for those who are in authority here.
Provide what is “right and fair” to those who work for you.
Sounds simple enough; but let
me provide a test for you: do you
believe that an employer is obligated to provide a living wage for his employees
– even if he isn’t forced to do so by the competition, or the law?
If
you do, then examine these two cases:
What
will your Master say about this when you face him?
Will he not pick up the yardstick you used to measure “right and
fair” to these – and use it on you? The reciprocal of obedience is
righteousness Is
it not so? Even if your earthly boss
does not reward you, is there not your Lord in heaven who will – and much more
richly? Is it not a fact that the
Lord rewards obedience? Let us then
look to his example:
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