In 1971 an earthquake struck the
Sylmar area in California. My parents' home was in the center of the most
heavily damaged area. For many weeks they were without water and electricity.
One weekend we came out to help
with the cleaning, and there was a precious sight: a small, wiry man, carrying
cinder block from our fallen wall in the street back into the yard. He
separated the broken pieces from the good ones, and we were glad to see him.
His name was Bob Macy, a friend indeed. I once camped on his driveway for
seven weeks, and his unfailing friendship is a cherished memory.
Today we shall see the greatest
friendship in the Bible - David and Jonathan.
(1 Sam 20 NIV) Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and
went to Jonathan and asked, "What have I done? What is my crime? How have
I wronged your father, that he is trying to take my life?" {2}
"Never!" Jonathan replied. "You are not going to die! Look, my
father doesn't do anything, great or small, without confiding in me. Why would
he hide this from me? It's not so!" {3} But David took an oath and said,
"Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he
has said to himself, 'Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.' Yet
as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me
and death." {4} Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you want me to do,
I'll do for you." {5} So David said, "Look, tomorrow is the New Moon
festival, and I am supposed to dine with the king; but let me go and hide in
the field until the evening of the day after tomorrow. {6} If your father
misses me at all, tell him, 'David earnestly asked my permission to hurry to
Bethlehem, his hometown, because an annual sacrifice is being made there for
his whole clan.' {7} If he says, 'Very well,' then your servant is safe. But if
he loses his temper, you can be sure that he is determined to harm me. {8} As
for you, show kindness to your servant, for you have brought him into a
covenant with you before the LORD. If I am guilty, then kill me yourself! Why
hand me over to your father?" {9} "Never!" Jonathan said.
"If I had the least inkling that my father was determined to harm you,
wouldn't I tell you?" {10} David asked, "Who will tell me if your
father answers you harshly?" {11} "Come," Jonathan said,
"let's go out into the field." So they went there together. {12} Then
Jonathan said to David: "By the LORD, the God of Israel, I will surely
sound out my father by this time the day after tomorrow! If he is favorably
disposed toward you, will I not send you word and let you know? {13} But if my
father is inclined to harm you, may the LORD deal with me, be it ever so
severely, if I do not let you know and send you away safely. May the LORD be
with you as he has been with my father. {14} But show me unfailing kindness
like that of the LORD as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, {15} and
do not ever cut off your kindness from my family--not even when the LORD has
cut off every one of David's enemies from the face of the earth." {16} So
Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, "May the LORD
call David's enemies to account." {17} And Jonathan had David reaffirm his
oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself. {18} Then
Jonathan said to David: "Tomorrow is the New Moon festival. You will be
missed, because your seat will be empty. {19} The day after tomorrow, toward
evening, go to the place where you hid when this trouble began, and wait by the
stone Ezel. {20} I will shoot three arrows to the side of it, as though I were
shooting at a target. {21} Then I will send a boy and say, 'Go, find the
arrows.' If I say to him, 'Look, the arrows are on this side of you; bring them
here,' then come, because, as surely as the LORD lives, you are safe; there is
no danger. {22} But if I say to the boy, 'Look, the arrows are beyond you,'
then you must go, because the LORD has sent you away. {23} And about the matter
you and I discussed--remember, the LORD is witness between you and me
forever." {24} So David hid in the field, and when the New Moon festival
came, the king sat down to eat. {25} He sat in his customary place by the wall,
opposite Jonathan, and Abner sat next to Saul, but David's place was empty.
{26} Saul said nothing that day, for he thought, "Something must have
happened to David to make him ceremonially unclean--surely he is unclean."
{27} But the next day, the second day of the month, David's place was empty
again. Then Saul said to his son Jonathan, "Why hasn't the son of Jesse
come to the meal, either yesterday or today?" {28} Jonathan answered,
"David earnestly asked me for permission to go to Bethlehem. {29} He said,
'Let me go, because our family is observing a sacrifice in the town and my
brother has ordered me to be there. If I have found favor in your eyes, let me
get away to see my brothers.' That is why he has not come to the king's
table." {30} Saul's anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him,
"You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don't I know that you have
sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother
who bore you? {31} As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you
nor your kingdom will be established. Now send and bring him to me, for he must
die!" {32} "Why should he be put to death? What has he done?"
Jonathan asked his father. {33} But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him.
Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David. {34} Jonathan got up
from the table in fierce anger; on that second day of the month he did not eat,
because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David. {35} In the
morning Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David. He had a
small boy with him, {36} and he said to the boy, "Run and find the arrows
I shoot." As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. {37} When the boy
came to the place where Jonathan's arrow had fallen, Jonathan called out after
him, "Isn't the arrow beyond you?" {38} Then he shouted, "Hurry!
Go quickly! Don't stop!" The boy picked up the arrow and returned to his
master. {39} (The boy knew nothing of all this; only Jonathan and David knew.)
{40} Then Jonathan gave his weapons to the boy and said, "Go, carry them
back to town." {41} After the boy had gone, David got up from the south
side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to
the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together--but David wept the
most. {42} Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, for we have sworn
friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, 'The LORD is
witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants
forever.'" Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.
David
Before we look at Jonathan, the
great picture of a friend, we can learn a bit from David.
God is preparing David
It is a tough time for David -
and in tough times you find out who your friends really are. God is showing
David three things:
- He is teaching him who to trust
- and who not to trust.
- He is building about him a core
of friends who will see him through his life.
- He is teaching him restraint
and discretion - a most notable requirement for a king.
David - a model friend
David shows us some of the
characteristics of a good friend:
- Note that he shows the proper
respect for Jonathan - who is a Prince Royal. He bows three times; he
does not presume upon the friendship.
- He approaches him in humility.
He asks what fault he might have committed; he begs the chance to make it
right. He doesn't begin with his own righteousness, but admits that he
might be wrong.
- In his dealings with Jonathan,
he promises to show kindness not only with Jonathan but also his
descendants. In Ishbosheth, he certainly fulfills this promise.
- David is not afraid to point
out to Jonathan that Saul is out to kill him - despite the fact that such
a message could hardly be welcome. Proverbs teaches us the value of such
a friend:
(Prov 27:6 NIV) Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but
an enemy multiplies kisses.
(Prov 27:9 NIV) Perfume and incense bring joy to the
heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.
David is a man whose counsel and
"wounds" are indeed faithful.
Jonathan
It is sad that Jonathan did not
live to an old age with David - it would have been fascinating to see this
develop. But we can begin with Jonathan's character:
Character
Jonathan is, first and foremost,
an honest man. Because he himself is honest, he cannot picture his father
being either irrational or treacherous. There is no treachery in Jonathan, and
therefore he cannot imagine it in Saul.
Indeed, he is so honest that he
assumes that if his father had any evil intent towards David, Saul would have
mentioned it by now! You cannot cheat an honest man - but you can fool one.
This says much for Jonathan's honesty; Saul's actions say much about the
depravity of man.
Marks of a friend
- The first, and greatest, mark
of a friend shown by Jonathan is this: he has everything to lose by being
a friend of David. David has been anointed King; if he is king, Jonathan
is not. Saul understands this clearly; so does Jonathan, I suspect.
It's just that he knows that harming David is unjust - and also that David
is his friend. What he might lose - doesn't matter.
- Jonathan is generous with his help
- he doesn't seek the least he could do, but the most. He tells David (v.
4) he will do whatever David wants him to do. The commitment is not a
limited one.
- Jonathan does not send help -
he goes himself, at his own risk. His attendant - the small boy - is not
really involved. Jonathan takes the risk himself.
- Jonathan is a man who can keep
a confidence. He holds David's plans in his own mind.
- Jonathan also "covers over
the offense." Rather than repeat his father's words - and make David
that much more fearful and angry - he holds the matter privately and keeps
it from being a burning sore.
Bound in the Lord
The secret of such a friendship
is simply this: they are bound in the Lord. Jonathan can hold David in such
friendship because they both hold the Lord as God.
- We see that by the oaths they
take - they bring God to witness to the truth of what they are saying.
- Like most friendships, they
share a common cause - the cause of God.
- Because they are God's
servants, their relative ranks - in a society which made much of this -
mean nothing to them, either way.
Seven Tests
A lesson should have its
practical points. So I propose to you seven tests of friendship:
- Are you a friend even when it
will cost you greatly? It would cost Jonathan the kingship of Israel, and
yet he loved David.
- Are you a friend even after
there is no more benefit to be gained from the friendship? Joseph of
Arimathea boldly claimed the body of Jesus - at risk to himself, with no
possible thought of gain.
- Will you tell a friend the hard
truth? David had to give Jonathan the painful news about what his father
was really like. Can you?
- Are you a friend "without
limits?" Do you say, like Jonathan, "Whatever you want, I will
do for you?" Or is friendship really a limited partnership?
- Are you a friend in person? Or
do you send someone else to do what should be done only by a true friend?
- Are you friend enough to
"cover the offense?" Jonathan did not repeat his father's
remarks, but let it go, so that peace might be given the chance.
- Can you share your friends
tears? David wept the most, for he was leaving family, friends, worship,
comfort - all for a life in the wilderness. But Jonathan wept too.
Epilog
Sometimes we say, "I wish I
could do those things - but it's too late." May I share something with
you about that? My sister has a good friend, Jill Goddard. Jill is quite an
artist, and upon hearing of my father's death offered to produce the memorial
cards for the funeral. As it happened these had been ordered, so Jill instead
produced a bookmark souvenir. Here's what it said about my dad:
During
his 20 years of service as an Army Finance Officer, John and his wife Lillian
helped friends and acquaintances in times of trouble. In turn they were helped
by others, such as the time they needed to fly a critically ill baby from the
Aleutians to the mainland. They knew they could never repay those who helped
so they did the next best thing; they helped others. This became known to the
family as "Pass It On." John remained true to this tradition all his
life.
To have a friend, be a friend.
Freely you have received? Freely give. Pass it on.