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Communion Meditations (2012)


Originally scheduled for April 29

I am what I am, Lord. I am what I am, no less but no more.

·         I am what I am with my own failures and sins. Sometimes I remember the things I should've done; sometimes I remember the things I shouldn't have done.

·         I am what I am – defined by my dreams. I have plans and ambitions Lord; there are things I want to do, places I want to go and even people I'd like to be.

·         I am what I am – limited by my nightmares. I know the words I wish I hadn't said, the people I wish I hadn't angered or offended. I know the things that might have been. I know the man who destroyed what should have been a good relationship.

I am what I am Lord.

I'm like Popeye the sailor, Lord. As far as I know, he never apologized for being a sailor. He always wore the same uniform. He was quick to throw a punch — but only in a righteous cause. He was also quick to anger. He had an infectious laugh and a sense of self acceptance that a man could envy. But he had one other thing: he always had a can of spinach. No matter what his predicament, that can of spinach saved him. I don't carry a can of spinach.

I have you, Lord. In your presence, I examine myself. I don't always like what I see – but I know I must do this. I've been here before; it's part of who I am.

In your presence, Lord, I accept your grace. I've come to you before, often with the same problems. You have always been gracious and kind, quick to forgive. It would be wonderful to say that I have nothing for you to forgive; wonderful, but false. I did not come to make a show; I came for grace.

I have no can of spinach, Lord. But I do have your body and your blood. I am what I am, Lord — and I am becoming more like you.

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